18 years and counting....

                                              the staff of Italiannis' -Abreeza singing for him :)

and the birthday dessert! thanks Italiannis' for "surprising" him

Kuya turned 18....( this was last July, so kinda late posting but still its just a few months late and he's still 18 )
the baby I used to stare at while he was sleeping..i loved to do so because he smiles and giggle from time to time while asleep, I believe those were the times his guardian angels were playing with him...ah, even Jay loved to stare at him while he's asleep...Jay can just lie down there and stare and stare for hours,and then when the smile creeps in his face, ah perfect moment! "kodak" moment talaga yun....

Many years passed by, I believe he has not outgrown his being such a sweet, jolly, and caring person....i know he is a man now and all that, but somehow, his innate kindness, goodness, and sweetness just can't help but burst out of him....that's why Janelle misses him so much...and I miss him too.....

Proof of this was during the day of his birthday- he accompanied me to the doctor for my check-up (i was down with very bad cough and flu-like symptoms, well more of that in another blog)...he patiently waited with me at the doctor's clinic, after seeing the doctor, we bought my meds...and he never complained that I had to hold on to his hand as we walked even in a crowded place like the mall, at times he is the one holding my hand ...ah, so gentleman of him.

So after that medical errand, we had lunch together at his favorite (well, one of-) restaurants- Italiannis' and ordered baked ravioli for appetizer, quatro formaggio, carbonara classico, and frutti di mare....quite a feast, but he managed to finish them all (as I was sick, I didn't have much appetite that day) and then there's the surprise dessert with matching singing by the waiters and staff (I had to whisper to them that its his birthday, did it when he went to wash his hands before eating )...thanks Italiannis' for helping me make that birthday lunch a happy one for him....

Happy 18th...and may you improve what you have to improve but never lose that sweet, kind,& jolly ways of yours....

Missing Something

Before FACEBOOK, there was Friendster- it provided a venue for me to write about my day or just about anything that I fancy or suddenly thought of; there were times, I wrote there what I was feeling, or what I went through in retrospect....with FB, I wrote less and less, and became content with status updates mostly one-liners or one-word shout outs. Lately, many thoughts have been forming in my mind that needs to be written, or just expressed, not necessarily for others to read, but just for my own writing pleasure, and somehow serve as a vent  because, admit it, not everything can be said, and not everyone is willing to listen or are even there to do so...so now, I will try to start writing again, just about ANYTHING, ANYTIME....

TWO CORYs IN MY LIFE

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 8:36pm

Its a coincidence that two Corys will share August 5 and will be forever etched in my memory...the first Cory as we all know- our former president- will be laid to rest on this day...while the other Cory in my life- my mom- will celebrate her birthday..these 2 Corys have some similarities- both are Chinese-looking, both have Corazon as their real names, and both are exemplary as mothers....just as Tita Cory is to her children, my mom has always been there for us..she always put us before herself- our needs, our wants..we have all the latest in shoes and in clothes while she is content in having just her basic pieces, buying only if really really really needed. She is very very simple while we her children have craved for more complex things. She is also a devoted Christian and have a very strong faith in God. I remember her saying that the legacy she wants to leave us is the love and devotion to God, aside from the good education she really worked hard (together with our dad) to be able to give us. She has also been there for other people sometimes putting them before us, even giving to others what we have worked hard for in order to give to her. With her everything has a solution as long as it is brought before God in prayer. She believes the best in everyone....
As the nation bids goodbye to Tita Cory...I give my loving greetings to my mom. Thank you for these two Corys who have made tremendous impact on my life- especially in the area of love, faith and devotion to God. my mom Cory...short haired also and curly...

" I work with all my might. I pray with all my heart. The rest I leave to God." - by Cory Aquino ...truly inspiring and worth emulating

PLANTING 101

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Monday, August 17, 2009 at 9:12pm

I would like to quote here a few lines from Mr. Francis Kong's recent article "The Story of the Seed":
"Scriptures say whatsoever you sow you shall reap.
Plant honesty and reap trust.
Plant goodness and you reap friends.
Plant humility and reap greatness
Plant perseverance and reap contentment
Plant consideration and reap perspective
Plant hard work and reap success
Plant forgiveness and reap reconciliation
Plant faith in GOD and reap a harvest.
I guess the question is what are you planting now?"

Hey you, I hope you realize what people around you have been going through just by listening to you. Yup, you may have a point- a good one- but hey, because of how you say it and talk to us or to them, somehow the message doesn't get through, but what leaves a mark is the hurt you leave after you've said your "right message". For how long will you go on like this? Going around talking to people, pointing out their mistakes and at the same time hurting them by the tone of your voice or even going to the point of being insulting already just to stress your point. I am afraid time will come that you will meet somebody who will do the very same thing to you (you know telling you the right message in a wrong way), as much as I would not want to see you go through that and be spared from experiencing what we experience from you but yet the law of sowing and reaping is very real...so every night I whisper a prayer for you to be gentler and kinder, and to give us the strength everyday to make listening to you bearable...o be careful little tongue what you say and how you speak...God help us!

CHRISTMAS SPELLED PROPERLY

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Friday, December 24, 2010 at 10:22am

I just can't help but feel sad whenever I see people write XMAS, for I really can't see any sense in writing it- how should one read it? Isn't XMAS read as it is? X-MAS? When did the letter X ever sounded like Christ? When did X ever mean Christ? Isn't it we were taught to write as we pronounce it when we were still little tots who can barely write or spell properly? So even if I try and try my best to recall when did X ever sounded like Christ I really can't ....or did we remove Christ from Christmas since we X-ed him out of the word that was coined because of HIM? It seems most people have lost the real meaning of Christmas - thus the word is written haphazardly or carelessly as X-MAS.....has Christmas been so commercialized that we have forgotten that the focus is not the parties nor the gifts nor the rituals or traditions associated with it but rather the focal point of Christmas is CHRIST's birth- His coming into this world to save us!

Parents, let us teach our children the true meaning of Christmas and let us start with writing it correctly..there are no shortcuts to Christmas- it took all of God's love and mercy towards us to send His only Son Jesus Christ, so let us show respect and deep gratitude for what God has given us and for what Christ has done for us.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Hope to see less of X and more of Christ in all of our posts.....

God bless us! Indeed God is merciful and kind and has shown mercy and grace towards all of us!

May the Spirit of Christmas be always in our hearts!

Promises to A Man Who I Once Knew As My Baby

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 4:12pm

To my one & only son, as you go & expand your horizon, I promise that I will keep on praying for your guidance & safekeeping...I will not worry so much because I know that God will be there where I cannot reach you, He will be your comfort at times when you need a hug, His loving arms will surely be there to soothe you, I may not always be there to talk to you when you need someone to listen to you rant or complain, but God will always be there, He listens, and He hears everything and will always have a ready word for you, you just have to listen closely because sometimes He just whispers softly. Of course, there's the cellphone, and the internet for us to communicate...but really there are moments that you will need a ready ear, and the person with the biggest ears who will hear you anytime is God alone, so just keep talking to Him.

I know you will do your best while in Singapore, I have seen how passionate you are when it comes to your work/studies...though you show your passion in a weird way- loud music blaring in the background while studying that makes me wonder how on earth can you understand whatl you're reading when there's rock music playing so loud!!! Oh well, you are after all my son, for I also cannot work  in the office when there's no music playing- our difference, yours is rock mine is acoustics/mellow/soft rock....ah yes, somehow I share your love for ColdPlay songs...

For a change I will not write here instructions for you to do while in Singapore for I know you are already old enough to know what to do, so I will just tell you what I promise to do while you're away. I promise to continue my daily workout even if you're no longer around to jog or walk with me because I know it is for my own good...need to do it for my cholesterol level to stay down, and of course, yes, I will remember to take my medicine daily even if you are no longer around to remind me to take my "drugs". I promise to keep my self healthy and not get sick so that I will be able to keep on visiting you as long as our funds permit. So as to ensure that I'll have funds, I promise to bring "baon" for lunch to the office as we have talked about so that I can save, and lessen my shopping urge so as to contribute to the travel fund for visiting you often.

I promise to be a good tutor to your sister Janelle specially in Math since you won't be around to do it for her, but I have a feeling that Janelle will always be online chatting with you on how to solve a math problem, or maybe use math as her excuse to keep you online and force you to talk to her and do your usual rituals- talk about things and laugh out loud together.

I promise that I will not cry my heart out because of the fact that I will miss you, but rather, I promise that I will keep on praying for you, and rally you on as you  face new challenges and battles in a foreign land. I will not think of my own misery and loneliness, but rather, I will put in my mind that you too will have your own bouts of loneliness thus I need to pray to God for your comfort and that may you find joy and peace in your heart knowing that God is with you at all times though your family is physically apart from you.

In summary: I love you too much thus I am letting you go to explore territories outside the comfort of our home, I have confidence in you not only because I know you, but because I know our God, that He promised that He will not leave you nor forsake you, and  I know that His plans for you  are for your prosperity and well-being.

Hugs and kisses.

Ivy

Just Asking...

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Monday, November 16, 2009 at 5:08pm

When will life with you be calm, peaceful, & not as if we have to be on our toes always, worrying what will make you mad next? Its as if there's always a bomb ticking, we don't know what to expect, sometimes the things we expect to make you mad won't have that effect on you, and what was pure fun for us surprisingly will be irritating to you.

When will it be that nothing will get under your skin?

When will it be that you will not sweat the small stuff?

When will you learn to just grin & bear it, just like what WE do when you're in one of your bad moods?

When will you accept the fact that some situations cannot be changed anymore and that to keep mentioning of the past decision & how it affects the now is just tiring and useless- why can't you just accept that that's it, it is THE NOW now so learn to live with it, just as we are learning to live with you everyday.

We are not perfect and i definitely know you are not also, so why can't you accept that fact? that we are different from one another?

If we know half as much as you know, then we would be you already, that's why we have different names because we are not you!

Look back, haven't you committed any mistakes? any wrong decisions? wow, if you haven't, then maybe you are indeed perfect.

JUST ASKING...no need for answers because we know how to grin and bear it :-)...as they say when life throws you tomatoes, make tomato juice...want some?

They Say Charity Begins at Home

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Monday, April 13, 2009 at 10:30pm

Heard that line before right?- that Charity begins at home..my take on this is that how can you be a responsible office worker if at home you can't even be trusted to take responsibility for small things? Ok, lets make it simpler...how can people expect you to be good-natured when the truth is whenever you're at home you are so grouchy and gets irritated with little things? How can you be friendly to people outside of your home when the fact is your family finds you unapproachable and they cower  whenever you're around for fear that what they do or say might irritate you and make you burst in anger?

What you are at home - what you do, how you behave, how you speak- will somehow come out no matter how hard you try to act differently when you're outside your house...consistency is the key to being true to yourself...why pretend what you are not? because its part of the job? because you need to? jekyll & hyde- they do exist...woe to the person who lives with one...and be grateful you people who don't see the other persona ....good & bad may coexist- no need to look far...in one's self there is a little bit of both...now ask yourself...who are you really? is it the person the people outside your home sees or is it the person your family members see? living two lives, tsk tsk tsk....go easy on yourself and make that decision to be the one who you truly are and if it so happens that the real you is unpleasant then go ahead and do something about it...miracles do happen...change is a possibility...with God all things are possible!!!! then only then can it be said that indeed charity begins at home....

An Early Post for Mother's Day

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Monday, April 13, 2009 at 9:59pm

I know I am a month early..but my heart is filled with so much that it just wants to overflow so somehow I have to express myself and not keep these thoughts bottled up inside me..

If only the children know how much mothers love them, what they go through just to see them happy, doing well, and A-Ok..they don't know what mothers go through just to make things better for them- look around you, watch the news, read the papers- mothers go through hell just to achieve what they think will be good for their children...some of the things they go through? verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, being taken for granted, suffering being away from the family just to be able to work & help provide the children's needs and wants, waking up early to prepare everything before going off for work which will take them 8 to 10 hours then go home in the evening and again see to their needs.

Some mothers are trapped in unhappy marriages but decide to stay married for the children- perhaps financially she can't sustain them so she has to stay..or she can't bear the thought of living away from the children - she just have to be with them every minute, every hour, every day..so she decides to stay even if the marriage doesn't give her the personal happiness she desires but she finds happiness in being in that farce of a marriage just to see her children happy and be able to provide everything they need....maybe when the children have all grown up and have flown out of the coop, then maybe it will be the mother's turn to find the personal happiness that has been lacking in those 20 to 25 years of marriage...so maybe that's the reason why some couples after seemingly being blissfully happily married for 25 years suddenly separate and live apart...

that's what some mothers go through..they are not as brave as those other mothers out there who took the risk of leaving the house, filing for separation or annulment, and stood their ground in raising their kids alone or from a distance...

so whatever type of mother you maybe..stuck in a relationship that gives no joy, or in one blissful, blessed, and happy union...these mothers have different crosses to bear, and I know that every Easter they find hope that somehow what was sown in tears will be reaped with joy....

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

NOTE FOR DAD

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Sunday, June 21, 2009 at 11:29pm

To my dearest Dad,

I would like to thank God for choosing you to be my earthly father, I couldn't have picked a better one. I remember those times when you were teaching me how to write and how stubborn I was in insisting to write with my left hand, you kept on transferring the pencil to my right hand and yet it always end up on my left, I guess that was the first sign of how stubborn I would be when I grow up. Being the only child for 5 years , I basked in the attention you & mom gave me, thus when the 2nd, the 3rd, till the 7th came along, I found myself pushed away from the limelight and sharing the responsibility of helping take care of my younger siblings..I guess it was the constant stay at the hospital every time mom gives birth & visits to the pediatrician that somehow influenced me to take up medicine and dream of becoming a doctor someday, which you supported and how. You made sure that we got the best education possible by working in a foreign land, you went when I was barely 12, such a young age to understand life and take on life. I missed your advice on how it is to be a teenager, then as I was about to enter college and experience having male classmates for the first time you were not also around to tell me how to deal with grown-up boys and boy how I did learn!

Suffice it to say that as years went by without your constant presence in our lives, we struggled in our personal lives, faced our fears and challenges with mom's guidance (though with constant phone calls from you)..I learned a lot of lessons then- about truthfulness, about responsibility, about how to have it all and lose it all again, about love..I think if you were around there were lessons I would have not learned and would have missed the chance of going through the difficult part of learning. Yup, would have loved to learn the easy way, but hey, those tough times toughened me so I have no regrets. All things happen for a reason as they say..

All in all, I thank you for doing your best to be the best father for us..I realized how much you sacrificed for us, how the best of your health were consumed by working abroad, and no amount of thanks can ever show how grateful I am for everything that you and mom have done for us....I miss you so much, its been 16 years now since Jay took me away from Manila...I guess, I'm kinda nostalgic now because its your day and I have not been with you for the past years to celebrate it, haven't celebrated it with you since you left when I was 12, then when you decided to come home for good, that's when I got married so we really never had the chance to reconnect & pick up where we left off..I miss cooking pancakes for you as my way of making up to you whenever you are angry at me... I miss your hugs and kisses, and those times we spent just seating in front of the stereo and listening to your favorite songs...I want you to know that I may have been lacking in showing you how much I love you - the distance being no excuse- I do miss you and mom a lot...I love you very much!!!! My only request- take care of mom for as long as you both shall live- respect and love one another...you are two of my treasures!!! And I realized, you are the best set of parents for me and no one else.

Happy Father's Day Dad...I hope that I will be given the chance to celebrate it with you again just like the old times!!!!

Ivy

PS: Irene, Ivory, Imee, Joseph, Mel- thanks for filling the gap, thanks for taking care of mom and dad...I know I have been remiss in my obligations and I am thankful you don't resent me for it and that you continue to do your part and even do my part for me...I love you!!!! Please give this letter to dad and mom...God bless us all!

FATHER'S DAY MESSAGE

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Tuesday, June 16, 2009 at 2:04pm

Since Father's Day is coming up (on June 21...remember its every 3rd Sunday of June), I wanted to share some notes on fatherhood..maybe as a parent in general..let me quote from the bible-

Ephesians 6:1-5 (New International Version)
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

For us to be able to bring up our children in the training and instruction of the Lord, we should be well-versed with what the Word of God says...truly, care of children is a very big responsibility entrusted to us thus we need to seek the Lord at all times- for guidance and wisdom...Also, why was it said there " NOT EXASPERATE YOUR CHILDREN"...upon doing further research, exasperate means "To make very angry or impatient; annoy greatly". 

Fathers are more prone to passion in relation to their children than mothers, whose fault is rather over-indulgence.
provoke not--irritate not, by vexatious commands, unreasonable blame, and uncertain temper "lest they be discouraged."nurture-- "discipline," namely, training by chastening in act where needed .
admonition--training by words whether of encouragement, or remonstrance, or reproof, according as is required of the Lord--such as the Lord approves, and by His Spirit dictates.

Tough because we are only humans prone to blowing our top, shouting, etc....but we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Our children have feelings and don't show their hurt, and they get scarred..sometimes for life...so be careful!

SELF

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Wednesday, April 22, 2009 at 8:36pm

I can't think of an appropriate title for my thoughts right now so maybe if you are reading this you may want to suggest to me an apt title for this short note...
I am just wondering why some people are so intolerant of other people's mistakes and when its their turn to commit a mistake they can just let it pass....scenario: while washing glasses, one accidentally slipped off your slippery hands and it shattered to pieces, this person will give you verbal lashing - "you're not careful kasi...you use too much soap kasi...etc"...but if it was that person who happened to break a glass also while washing , wow- sound of silence!!!!and we the spectators can only watch and keep silent too....
and then why is it that some people are only conscious of how important their time is not wanting to be late etc, and when its you who has to be early they just seem to be unmindful and do all those stuff that can really be tackled on a later time, taking their own sweet time before finally going...arrgh....
oh well, maybe the best thing to do is adjust to these people..somehow we'll learn how to live with them and not sweat the small stuff, in the end it is us who are changed- we become more patient, more understanding...those people? well, they/re still their old self- unmindful of others, who are conscious only of their own time, self-righteous, seemingly not committing any mistake, and a know-it-all....hey, do they really know it all? well, that's what they think!!!! wink wink wink :-)

Unchanging Love

Unchanging Love

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Monday, May 18, 2009 at 12:27am

Just finished watching a documentary on a so far "wedding of the year" (till it will be upstaged by another prominent personalities' wedding)...weddings really do have an effect on me..i cry at every wedding i see even if i am not a friend of the couple...now that i am back to reality after watching that beautiful wedding, i suddenly had a new thought- that wedding is like the end of a fairy tale and the beginning of a soap opera or reality tv...that's it- the end, because after that, everyday will be reality already as you see what or who your other half really is. He may either really be your prince charming or he'll turn out to be the villain disguised as the prince. What happens everyday after the honeymoon will set the stage as to how far the teleserye will go- if it will be cut short or if it will run for several seasons more because it deserves a long run. Hey , I don't wanna ruin the singles' hope or longing for weddings...maybe its just my hormones that's why I am saying these things..or its a full moon or a red moon out there that's why i am in such a mood...but what the heck...I am married, will stay married...i still don't know till when...it may last my lifetime, it may not, who am I to tell...for now all i can say is that staying married is a choice- a commitment!!its not an emotional state- sometimes you feel you like it sometimes not, but whether the feeling is there or not...i have made my choice- i am staying married! well ...for now (",)

So then love is a commitment - a commitment is somehow unchanging...if love is defined as an emotion, how can it be unchanging? emotions change...commitment seldom changes- we stand by it!!!

To those married people out there...don't be content with the fact that commitment will not change- you have to take care of a marriage no matter how stubborn a person is to stay married- nurture it for it to grow- if its not growing and has remained stagnant- meaning taking each other for granted, not doing things that will make each other happy,verbally abusing your partner if not physically, not going out on dates as a couple anymore, and the like- be careful...stagnant water becomes murky and after a time no one would like to live in murky water.

Live Today as If There's No Tomorrow

Live Today as If There's No Tomorrow

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 7:00pm

Life is uncertain - we don't know when we'll depart this world ...so while we have the time let us show our love and express them not only in actions but also in words while we are still alive and able to do so, for who knows what tomorrow will bring? Verbalize your emotions because sometimes we have different interpretations of people's actions, thus it would be best to say what we want, how we feel, what we are thinking of...what if that person dear to you rode the plane off to someplace and never came back because of a tragic air accident? and you didn't get the chance to bid that person a proper goodbye? you can't bring back the moment and wish you were able to tell the person what you feel....

Definitions and something to think about in the end

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Friday, March 27, 2009 at 6:59pm

Happiness -1. the quality or state of being happy.
                   2. good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.
Synonyms:1, 2. pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. 

Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family.

 Bliss is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. 

Contentment is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.

Antonyms:
1. misery.

Misery- # The state of suffering and want as a result of physical circumstances or extreme poverty.
# Mental or emotional unhappiness or distress

What do you call an emotional state that is somewhere between being happy & miserable?  give me the right term...i am in that state now :(

An Old Blog

by Ivy Guinto Fernandez on Friday, February 13, 2009 at 4:32pm

Silence

Tell me,is silence a sign of weakness? defeat? guilt? Or isn’t it showing one’s strength, that no matter how provoked or pushed against the wall one maybe, one has the grace and self-control to not speak or talk so as not to dignify other’s accusations. Let them throw words at you, but don’t retaliate, especially speaking without thinking, words once said will be hard to retract, well maybe that’s why in the bible it says that no one can tame a tongue, it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison….oh well, again it is said that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks…want to know the character of a person and what he or she treasures, then listen intently and you’ll know…

Silent because guilty? my dear, don’t judge because with the same measure you judge you shall be judged…
Silence is beautiful… it cleanses and refreshes one’s mind and spirit…in the stillness of your surroundings, listen to God..hear what He has to say…

Silence does not destroy, rather it gives the other party doing the talking the chance to either redeem themselves or just bury themselves deeper by going on with their chatter….my silence was because i wanted to give others the chance to go back and repair the damage they have done, but alas, with their many words, they have burned the bridge down…now there’s no going back- no bridge to pass anymore because it was burned down by the fiery words they have spoken…did i burn them down? look ma, no hands- i didn’t carry any flamethrower …

Now let me revel in my silence….

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